Sunday, July 18, 2010

J.Ma On: Country Clubs

First things first, I'd like to state that I do not like country clubs at all. People that live in country clubs are full of cocks, and all they do is play golf or have sex in their million dollar houses every single night with prostitues. Honestly, that acutally sounds very nice. What kind of man doesn't like to be perverted? However, putting things aside, the people that do live in country clubs have very nice houses, cars, and community. Only if you're rich. If you aren't rich, the chaps that live in the country clubs have huge disrespect for we regular humans.

For my swim meet, I had to go to a country club's pool. The places that surround the pool are huge buildings and a beautiful view along with a magnificent golf course. It's all brilliant. I love the fact that I can find a spot on the patio, and enjoy my lunch while I watch people play golf and go Tiger Woods all over the place. The one thing that bugs me is that, next to every door that leads to a building has a little sign. It says, "proper attire is required." Right. When they say proper attire, do they mean full on tuxedos, not naked at all, or privately protected? Whatever.

Feeling trollish that day, I decided to walk in to the building ONLY wearing a speedo. I was shirtless and I had a towel that I tied around my waist. Knowing that someone would scold me, I decided to find out how long it would take until someone had scolded me and asked me to leave. Suprisingly, a few men that walked by me in rich clothing didn't seem to care. Some more men walked past me until a lady came across me. She immediately stopped me and told me that I could not be shirtless when in the building. All I did was say, "oh, awfully sorry." And stripped off my towel so that I exposed my speedo. Cockly lady I say. The next time I see her, I'll be sure to engage immediate sex with her because that's what she probably does everyday.

To be honest, I wanted to be able to transfer bodies when I saw her though. I mean, if I were taller, white, and with huge biceps and abs, would she have shut up rather than talk trash about me? If I was rich, would she have ignored me, and maybe even admire me? If I had a bigger, hotter body would she want to seduce me with her body? If I were all of those combined and just wearing a speedo, would she just tell me to take that speedo off and forget about the "glove"? I do want to appeal to her, if she ever comes across this. You will regret that you scolded me that day because karma will get your ass hard, "son".

Sitting on the patio (with a shirt on) that day was just beautiful. Sure the sun was blistering hot, and I was doing my math homework as well, but being able to relax and watch people play golf was just excellent. But then I came across the parking lot that belong to the "rich" people that living in the country club. What I saw was plain irony. In a rich place like this, the only car that was the most expensive was a Porsche Cayman. That's the very basic Porsche. All the other cars I saw ranged from Toyota Prius' to F-150's. So the lady that scolded me telling me that I couldn't wear a shirt probably owns a Volkswagon Beetle. Thanks alot you selfish bitch.

To back up my point, the Porsche was the only Porsche in that parking lot. The rest were literally basic every vehicles, and there were not alot of luxury cars. Not even an Acura TL. I acutally did take the time to count the number of cars in a section of a parking lot and it came out to be forty-six. Out of those forty-six cars, thirty-four of those cars were basic vehicles. The other twelve cars were very basic luxury cars. When I say basic, they were just C-Class Mercedes, Lexus IS 250, Caddy CTS, and that's about it. So why lady, why did you scold me when you aren't even that rich yourself? Just because you live in a country club does not give you the right to tell me what to do honestly. I mean, if all the people that walked by me didn't mind, why should you as well? Honestly, she isn't that rich, and I was going to the boys lockeroom that was NOT located outside near the pool deck. It's slightly logical that if I were to leave my clothes in the lockeroom, I would have to walk in without a shirt on to reach the boys lockeroom in the first place. Next time, lady, try suggesting that the lockerooms be built OUTSIDE where the pool is, so you do not have to see little Asian boys shirtless next time. Thank you very much.

Thankfully, not all the people that live in country clubs are all cocks. I mean, the people that work there are very nice, whether you're half-naked or not. And some of the golf men did enjoy me watching the old chaps play golf. If I were to ever live in a country club, I would not dress rich and I would not have a luxury sports car. Then I'd walk inside without a shirt on and let that lady scold me. Next thing I'd is take her outside to my car, then into my room and lock her up in my closet where she can see all my rich clothes. Lets see who has scolding rights now, bitch.

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