Friday, July 9, 2010

J.Ma On: Female's Perspective

Whenever I’m with a female friend walking through a car parking lot, I would always be the one that names all the cars I’d see at the parking lot. Typically in an average parking lot, there would be cars that range from full on everyday transport vehicles to luxury sports cars.

Of course, then I’d attempt to start up a conversation with the female next to me about cars. And then it would turn out into a complete failure. That’s because when I talk to girls about cars, I would see this one common factor between all of the ladies.

In the current society, lets be honest, girls are somewhat shallow these days. Guys can apply to, but we men can find pleasure in our lives without a female counterpart. In fact, women can fit these statements, but who doesn't not want a lover? All women really want is a mini Tae-Yang; a guy with a decent looking face with tremendous biceps and a bundle of hubris. Same factor applies to cars. When walking with that particular individual, she’d keep on noting about all the pretty and ugly cars when I noticed a trend. All the “pretty” cars were cars that ranged from squashed Volkswagon Beetles (Porsche) to basic C-Class Mercedes. All the “ugly” cars were basic simple and practical Honda Accords, Toyota Camrys, and so on. I mean, what’s the meaning of this? Can’t regular, practical cars be pretty as well?

The other day I was on Craigslist in the “adult” section looking for prostitutes (not really.) And I couldn’t help to notice a post that said “I Love Cars.” I figured that must be a miracle and clicked on it. The first thing I saw was a thirty-seven year old obese female with an extremely long description about herself and so on. And I would like to point out something. “I am looking for a man that makes AT LEAST six figures annually, and wishing that he is a model with a big house next to the beach.” Typical. “I also love sports cars as well, especially Mercedes and Ferraris and not those stupid Chevys and Hondas.”

What kind of monumental failure would say something like that. This the problem with shallow girls. A Mercedes DOES NOT mean it’s a sports car. While I do have low tolerance for Chevys, what about the Corvette ZR-1? How about the infamous Bumblebee Camaro? In a sense, what this means is that, girls favor German or Italian cars. In fact, they love them so much that they label them as “SPORTS CARS.” Well why aren’t they considered to be luxury cars? Does that woman know that BMW has its M class, and Mercedes has AMG? It’s hard to call a Mercedes a luxury sports car without seeing that AMG emblem on the car’s back. True, the basic 2010 Mercedes E-350 has about 268 horsepower, which is a very sporty trait. But the moment that same Mercedes receives an upgrade from AMG, it turns into an E63 with 525 horsepower. THAT is a luxury sports car. Please do not slap me for that very true insult.

The type of women that DO surprise me, are the type that find interest in cars. The other day while going to Elite, I saw a cop that just pulled over a white Subaru Impreza. I thought to myself the person driving the Impreza must’ve been a guy. When I drove past the Impreza, I was astonished to see that it was a girl. That girl, getting pulled over by a cop, in a Subaru Impreza has officially given herself the achievement as a “Bad Ass Mother F—ker.” If she got pulled over by a cop, that must mean she was driving fast. Driving fast in a legitimate sports car gives her every bragging right. A girl that isn’t obsessed with “Tae-Yang sports cars” is the girl that we all men need to pursue. It would make our lives a lot easier, and we will have the abilities to start a conversation in a parking lot full of cars.

That being said, shallow girls who favor Tae-Yang sports cars are the “canary in the coal mine.” They only profit off of the male that’s giving the girl all her luxuries. But there is a very easy way to solve the whole “shallow girl” problem. There is a way to make regular girls like the same cars the male counter part does. Get a girlfriend, and have sex with her. Sex is like the yes room. Whatever the male says to the female, she will agree. I am almost positive that if that thirty-seven year old obese lady finds a male counter part and they have sex, she will say “yes” to even a Honda Accord. So there we go, a simple problem solvable with a simple solution. But sadly, most girls these days don’t go for the car-loving men. They go for the rich, "sports cars" men. I say, “to hell with that.”

**This article has not been writen in anyway to offend anyone.

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